The time change, the eight days straight of work I had after returning from out of town, and all the crazy things that are going on in the world right now have put me over the edge. Add all three together totaling one really weird week for me filled with awkward tears and humbled feelings. At night I haven't been able to sleep because I cannot stop thinking about the Japanese earthquake, tsunami, and all the nuclear reactors blowing up. My heart just feels broken for all of Japan and those who had to watch as their loved ones were carried out to sea or crushed in the rubble of crumbled buildings, and now have to worry about their potential exposure to dangerous toxicity.
Guilt is overwhelming me for all of the things that I have in my life, and how I am a truly blessed and fortunate woman. Right now I just feel very convicted for resenting all greatness I have in my life, and not feeling appreciative enough. Sometimes I am the worst wife ever, I am extremely selfish and expect the world to revolve around me, I can be uptight and unappreciative, and I do not give enough love to my precious loved ones.
We are given a short time on earth that is really just a blink in the span of eternity. So it is time to stop being a difficult wife, relax and be easy going and acknowledge that the world does not stop for my desires, and love and appreciate the people and greatness I have in my life.
So last night I decided that step 1 of being a better wife would be to actually put my prized culinary skills to use more often. Doug is the KING of processed foods. His skills in the kitchen are somewhat limited, and I am not often home in the evenings to prepare a fresh meal for him, so oreos and spaghettio's are his frequent go to dinner. He does not particularly care for fruits and veggies, and I am convinced that is just because he isn't quite sure how to prepare them in a way that he likes. This is partially my fault because he has asked me numerous times throughout the years to give him mini cooking lessons which always turn out bad because I get into control freak mode and tell him hes holding the knife wrong or get frustrated because it takes him longer to do things that me, and in the end take over and just do it all myself. This is why I feel like the worst wife ever lately.
Baby steps are needed to transform any produce hater into a veggie loving crazed manic, so last night I opted to make him homemade pizza. His half pepperoni, my half spinach and mushroom.
My pizza dough is the easiest ever to make and it yields 1 normal sized pizza.
Simple Pizza Dough
1/4 oz. Active dry yeast
1/2 cup Warm water
1 teaspoon honey
1 tablespoon Olive oil
1 teaspoon Salt
1 1/2 cup All-Purpose flour
1. Activate the yeast by placing it into the warm water with the honey. Stir until combined and let sit for a few minutes.
2. Put the flour and salt into a large bowl. Add the activated yeast and the olive oil. Mix until somewhat combined.
3. Knead the dough until it becomes homogeneous.
4. In the same bowl that the mixture came from, lightly grease the inside with either a cooking spray or a small amount of olive oil. Place the dough in the bowl and cover with a piece of plastic wrap.
5. The dough needs to rest and be proofed. After about 2 hours it should double in size. Lightly punch the dough down.
6. Let the dough rest another 20 minutes before rolling out.
After rolling out the dough, I brush it with a small amount of olive oil and place it in a 425 degree oven for about 5 minutes before putting on the toppings to ensure the crust bakes all the way through. Bakes best at 425 degrees.
Today I am filled with humbled feelings of how precious my time on earth is and feel like I am going to love a little more, say a few more thank you prayers, and show a few extra smiles.