Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Crazy Mind

3 days later and my calves are still a bit tender...what the heck?

Sundays 8k has left me with warm feelings of the progress my body is making and that I am traveling down the right path. No negative thoughts, no self-doubt, no angry-tear filled rants about how my race didn't go as planned and that my life has now lost all meaning. There is no longer any room in my mind for the toxic thoughts that once left a negative dusting over every inch of my soul that I allowed to suck me into a black hole of self pity for a poor race performance. Instead I would rather spend my time reflecting back upon a race with a sense of pride for my accomplishment and instead learn from the missteps of the day.

This may seem obvious and clear to others, but for me this is a BIG STEP down a road that I haven't ventured down much. My mental history after a race has been to beat myself down about all of my errors in the race until I finally succumb to self-defeat about how my efforts were subpar and my performance was less then noteworthy. Why would I do this to myself? Who knows, but it has gone on too long and without a positive change I was limiting myself in every area of my life. All of lifes experiences and accomplishments should be reveled in and a sense of joy should overcome ones soul when a mile marker is passed. Life is a learning process, I'm just glad I learned this NOW and not when I'm 80.

I'm not saying that I'm going to stand on the top of Sears Tower (or Willis Tower depending on who you're talking to) and shout to the world that I overcame my fears of positivity and blew my expectations out of the water, cause that would just be silly. But I am finally comfortable saying that I had fun and I gave my best effort on Sunday. PERIOD.

So what if I stood in the back of the elite corral and unintentionally added about 5 seconds to my time, went out WAY too fast for the first mile, stopped for water at mile 4 where I literally came to a DEAD STOP and I didn't really even need the water, who cares if I didn't hug the curves enough and tacked on a little extra mileage? And yes I did run 17 miles three days before the race in brand new shoes that brought on a slight discomfort to my arches and left my legs feeling drained. It happened. All I can do now is learn from it. On to the next race, the next day, and the next experience.

5 comments:

  1. I can so relate to this post. Your words are so up my alley! :) I'm so glad I'm at this new place in my running life! Race Residue is helpful if we let it teach us and help us go further but harmful if we marinate in it for too long and never get rid of it! :) Awesome post Britt (is britt your name?) ha ha...is it short for something or jut britt?

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  2. Very well said! Congrats on finishing another race!

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  3. every run gives you something, whether it's something you like or not. it's all part of your running journey! :) great job on confronting your attitude about a not perfect race!

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  4. Congrats. It can be difficult to not be hard on yourself after a race (i am bad for that). In the end you got to just enjoy the experience for what it is

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