If I were to tell you that I am excited about Sunday's half marathon, I don't even know if that would be able to describe my emotions. I AM PUMPED! I mean truly ecstatic, words cannot even be said about how much I want to run this race and break 1:30.
This is my excited face.
The last half I ran was Labor Day last fall. I didn't really have any expectations going into the race because it fell after two 70+ mile weeks while I was training for the Chicago marathon. I showed up to the race not knowing much about the course and just wanted to get in a good workout, which strangely enough left me feeling confident and relaxed. My focus for that day was to get out there and have fun. Period. There were no other expectations.
I realize here that it may appear that I wet my pants, I assure you that I did not. I have not quite mastered the drinking while running thing.
I was chillaxed and kept telling myself that I was doing awesome. I was cruising over hills like I never had before and felt mentally stronger as each mile passed. Truly it was one of the most amazing race experiences that I have ever had in my life because my head was in the game. At that point in time I took a break from telling myself what I couldn't do and instead focused on what I could do, it was the beginning of my spiritual running days and damn it felt good.
For me there are a lot of factors that I take into consideration that I allow to hold me back from success in nearly every area of my life. Wasting time focusing on my limitations used to consume the majority of my thoughts. I would tell myself that I wasn't capable, I wasn't good enough, that my legs do not possess the power of speed, and that I was short with big legs and scrawny arms which do not make me look like a runner. Whine whine whine.
After my splatter all over the pavement of the 26.2 miles of the Chicago marathon in the fall, it took a lot for me to mentally pull myself back together. Simply put, when you are constantly telling yourself that you can't do something...you will ultimately fail. I hate how all of my greatest lessons in life come from my missteps and failures, but this is what also makes them have such a positive impact on my life. If there is one thing that I have learned in my life it is that no matter if your attitude is positive or negative, it will spread like a plague. So these days I choose positivity, my body may be small but it is mighty and I can move mountains.
This winter I have been hitting it hard at the gym and on the roads pushing for this sub 1:30 half because I WANT IT. I want it so bad that lately all I can see in my mind is me crossing the finish line and the clock reading 1:29 with a giant smile on my face and my hands raised high in the air. Yikes, it gives me goosebumps and makes my heart beat a little faster just thinking about it. So even if the weather is looking a tad less then desirable:
I'm still showing up to that starting line ready to kick my own ass. Sure 23 mph winds coming off the lake aren't the most desirable conditions for a PR on a course that rides right along the lakefront, but I'm not too concerned. My God powers my legs these days, and I am confident that he will strengthen me. I will NOT be allowing negative thoughts to enter my mind. There is only room for positive feelings about how I will glorify my God with the awesome power he has given me.
Thank you Lord, you are awesome.