"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need."
I'm no different then anyone else. I dream big, take bold chances, push the envelope, and make my fair share of mistakes. I'm human, which means that life is far from perfect for me and hosts just as many boastful moments as it does moments of sorrow. I don't think that I am any more fortunate then anyone else or that my life is filled with any greater blessings. I just try to take it all in stride not letting the slip-ups and short comings become the definition of who I am.The Rolling Stones
It has been just over 1 week since my unfortunate and unexplainable knee incident. While I would love to say that I have seen 100% improvement in the past 9 day, that would be a complete lie. The pain only lasted about 24 hours and was then followed up with quite a bit of tightness which I haven't yet been able to shake. My range of motion is limited right now, but the good news is that I'm not in any sort of pain. I've taken my mileage down quite a bit this week, took a few days off, and only allowed for 1 baby speed session this past Thursday.
The past 12 weeks have hosted quite a bulk of training for me. Most weeks mileage has been in the high 60's to low 70's with 2 speed sessions, 3 strength sessions, and anywhere from 1-3 yoga classes. Dialing up the intensity for this cycle is what I knew my body needed to get to that finish line for my May 20th half under 1:25, and most weeks my body has been wiling to comply until last Friday.
I'm not giving up.
I'm not throwing in the towel.
I'm not adjusting my goal.
There is never only one way to get to somewhere. In my heart I made a tenative plan of the route I wanted to travel along to get to my desired destination and haven't felt hell-bent on following this plan to a T. There will always be more then one way to get where you want to go, and recent events have made this very clear to me. My plan for the next few weeks is now null where each day has to be assessed delicately to ensure that I'm taking proper care of myself.
Woke up this morning and headed out for an impromptu 5k where I was hoping to score a nice PR. But after a long warm up where the knee still wasn't feeling 100%, I begun to take a tight grip on the reality of my current situation.
I had two choices this morning:
Push through whatever that 5k handed me just for the sake of PR knowing that this could bring the possibility of doing irreversible damage.
Line up and take the race step by step, not committing to anything and pulling out if necessary.
Sadly, I took a DNF.
I pulled out of the race at the 2 mile marker with a 12:00 split, right on pace for a 18:30-40 finish. The legs felt great, strong enough to push me through to that finish line finally breaking 19 minutes. But the knee begun to feel creeky where just after mile 1 it almost felt as if two of the bones were rubbing against each other where the sensation had a slight increase with each step.
So I pulled out.
While the reality of this hurts my heart, I know that this was the most sensible decision I could have made for myself this morning. Honestly, I shouldn't have even toed that line and instead just headed out for a few easy miles this afternoon. But what's done is done.
Am I mad that I had that well below 19 minute 5k split within my reach and I had to let it go?
BUT, there will be another 5k at another point in time where I'll give this a go while feeling 100% on my game.
Until then I just need to focus on maintaing my speed, strength, and endurance for the next few weeks while tending to my knee and moving on to plan B...which will be just as great.
That half marathon PR is still within my reach. I'm not losing hope. I'm not giving up.