Friday, June 8, 2012

nothing left to lose

as my bum is parked on my couch right now wrapped up in my snuggie and compression socks, it is currently 85 degrees outside without a cloud in the sky. it's a lovely day, but i don't care. i'm in taper mode, and for the first time ever in my life i'm soaking up every moment of rest that i can get.

at this point, i'm tired and ready for a little bit of fitness freedom.

i love running & feeling like my legs are a set of newly polished wheels.
i love training & the way it prepares me to attack nearly every situation in life.
i love kicking my own butt & seeing just how far i can press my limits.

but i also love feeling strong and energized.
and trying to hold a fitness peak for far too many weeks has made that dream completely null.

it sops up all your energy.
it makes you snappy and unpleasant.
it makes you tired and anxious.
and
it makes you crave the rest your body deserves.

some training cycles are flawless. they lead you to PR after PR feeling strong and limitless.
i had one of those kinda years last year where PR's seemed to come nearly every time i toed the line.
it felt awesome.

then there are other training cycles where new obstacles and challenges never seeming to cease.
i seem to have gotten myself caught up in one of those right now
where most things seem imperfectly perfect at this present time.

i've worked harder then i've ever worked.
i've clocked splits in workouts that would have blown my mind 12 months ago.
i've ignited a little spark inside that has told me i'm only just getting started.

with the conclusion to my spring training cycle just a mere 12 hours away
where race temps are again predicted to be spicy
and there have been warnings of potential howlin' winds coming off the lake,
it really doesn't matter.

at this point, i've got nothing left to lose.

PR's are rare and precious.
they cannot be taken for granted.
and they don't come knockin' on your door everyday.

tomorrow plan is that there is no plan.
no pressure.

whatever the outcome,
i'll be a happy lady.
because that is my choice.

value for me isn't determined in stats.
i know that i'm a decent athlete,
who dug herself into an over trained state as ambition and drive exponentially grew.

that's me.
i'm passionate.
i take risks and i make mistakes.

and then i move on.
learning a lesson.
and quietly plan the next mountain to climb.

6 comments:

  1. What an honest post. Taking risks is a huge part of this. I can't wait to see all you can do.

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  2. It sounds like you are doing everything right. I wish I was a relaxed and calm as you. I have a 5K tomorrow and I am all over the place right now. You have done all the right workouts and you are ready!

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  3. Love it.
    good luck tomorrow .....I'm super behind so FB and remind which race is tomorrow???
    love you Britt! sorry I'm so out of the loop these days:(:(

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  4. Thanks for your honesty. Often, the running blogs seem to only be about setting PRs, the highs of the sport, and cute running clothes. But, I believe that every single runner goes through a time of similar feelings that you posted about today. Reading your thoughts caused me to reflect on my own journey with running... and it has been a long journey, with some "good" months/years and some "bad" months/years. I really appreciate your insight.

    Good luck tomorrow, though! I don't know if your race is in Chicagoland... but be really careful if it is. What is with the mild weather during the week and then scorching temps on the weekend! ? This is the third weekend in the past four with really high weekend temps :( I will be hitting the Prairie Path early to beat the heat (ie: right when the sun rises!)

    Erin A

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  5. Your honesty is inspriting, Britt! Can't wait to hear all about it!

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